The craziest thing happened to me when I was buying some jogging shoes.
First, some back story. I forgot to pack a bag for my Houston trip. That bag had my converse, jogging shoes, a jacket, my phone charger, and my computer charger. I want to jog tomorrow so I went to go buy jogging shoes at the Academy across the freeway.
I’m trying on shoes and they feel a little tight on the sides. I’m walking around a bit when a guy says they look nice. This whole thing is in Spanish by the way. I say yeah but they feel kinda right. He says they usually feel that way but loosen up after a while. He’s wearing Nikes too. I say yea I thought so.
His wife calls him so he leaves. I pack up the shoes. I’m going to buy them. On the way out I say, hey thanks for the advice. He says no problem, take care.
It was a genuinely nice moment.
Second thing I realized on this little trip. This will be the first time I have two nice pairs of jogging shoes. I usually only have one nice pair and a really shitty pair. That’s what happens when you’re poor. Now that I have some money I can do a little more and that’s nice. It’s a less stressful life.
A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. -Grace Hopper, computer scientist and US Navy Rear Admiral (1906-1992)
I don’t feel rested.
Today was not a relaxing day. I felt like there was so much to do. I had to buy things for the cat. I had to eat food, like twice. I had to do laundry. I had to pack. I still haven’t packed actually. oh! I had to get a haircut. I felt all over the place.
There’s so much to do at work too. Man, then busy season starts in like a month. I’ll have to work a ton of hours now. There’s also an inventory count to do on New Year’s Eve.
Too much stress. Maybe that’s it. The icy roads don’t help either. I’m no afraid of driving, but you have to pay so much more attention when driving. The constant state of alertness is stressful.
There is no new Walking Dead tonight. That sucks, but on the plus side, I can go to sleep early today.
Words are a mirror of their times. By looking at the areas in which the vocabulary of a language is expanding fastest in a given period, we can form a fairly accurate impression of the chief preoccupations of society at that time and the points at which the boundaries of human endeavour are being advanced. -John Ayto, lexicographer (b. 1949)
Grandpa died last Wednesday.
I can’t say I’m sad, but I am relieved. Finally his suffering ended. I hope he finds peace. Now we can move on. At least I can. And! I have a new life goal, which is to never be like him.
On the flip side, Nelson Mandela died on Thursday. There’s a man who inspires.
Man, this ice storm wasn’t that bad. I went out yesterday and today. The streets were pretty good. The last ice storm that hit three years ago was bad. There was solid ice on the streets. No solid ice on the streets this time.
It was a good Saturday though, even though Manchester United lost. Saturday morning cartoons were good. Lunch was delicious. Buying groceries was ok. The kitten fucked up my pants. Then I took a quick nap. Then I worked for about 2 hours and made dinner. It wasn’t that great. Now I’m here watching Bob’s Burgers.
oh! I watched Bad Lieutenant. That was a great movie. It was up there with There Will Be Blood. Anyway, I really connected with the movie and the main character. Even though the main character was shooting up drugs, gambling, and drunk driving, I related to his struggles. He had modern-day struggles. Wait, no. He had self-imposed struggles. He was struggling with his inner demons. Just like me.
If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner. -Nelson Mandela, activist, South African president, Nobel Peace Prize (1918-2013)
I think I suffer from hero’s syndrome.
Hold on. I Googled it and apparently that’s already a defined thing. I was going to explain it like this. I think I’ve watched so many movies and television shows were the main character is the hero, or chosen one, in the story, that now I’m expecting to be in heroic situations in my everyday life. I’ve been programmed by popular culture to think I’m special. It also makes me think that everything I’m doing happens for a reason, which will ultimately result in something important.
It’s like that movie, Slumdog Millionaire, expect instead of ending up on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I think I’ll end up saving someone’s life, or even the world.
So sometimes that makes me sad because most of my life is pretty ordinary. Any effect I do have on other people, or the world, isn’t easily visible and it’s probably minute.
I wonder if other people have grown up with this same feeling? Can I blame video games? I don’t even play video games, so that wouldn’t work. I wonder if people who grew up reading comics feel the same way. I wonder if girls feel the same way. Maybe what I’m feeling would be like girls feeling that they need to get married and have kids.
On the flip side, this has kept me wanting to be fit and not get fat. It probably also had something to do with buying a stick shift and it always keeps me on my toes. It makes me want to seize every non-stupid opportunity.
Also, it could be worse. Instead of getting hero syndrome from movies/TV, I could have gotten annoying reality TV star habits.
No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. -William Blake, poet, engraver, and painter (1757-1827)
Today kinda started yesterday.
Yesterday, I went down to Austin. Well, it was almost Austin. I went to the Salt Lick in Round Rock. I went for lunch and to pick up turkey and brisket for today. It worked out wonderfully. That turkey was delicious.
Right, so today, my sister and I prepared most of the meal. I made the mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. She made the biscuits, cornbread, and gravy. We bought some desserts too. The entire thing was delicious but we made way more food than we needed. There are a ton of leftovers.
I watched a lot of football. The Cowboys won. I’m glad. It was definitely a winnable game. Packers got crushed. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought the Steelers would win. They did not.
I also watched There Will Be Blood. I remember watching it a long time ago, but I had forgotten what happens in it. Man, I’m glad I watched it again. It was an intense movie.
I know I took a 2 hour nap earlier, but I’m so sleepy. I’m going to sleep.
I wonder what I’ll do tomorrow. Probably nothing.
Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. -Charles Schulz, cartoonist (1922-2000)
This grandpa thing has made me tired.
I’ve been thinking about it most of the day. I’ve known he was going to die. He’s been frail for a while and I’ve known about his worsen condition for a few days. I haven’t felt bad. I didn’t feel bad.
I think he was a bad person. The good he did in this world is outweighed by the bad. That definitely made his impending death easier to bear.
These feelings made me indifferent to his death. But now I almost feel bad for him. I know he made mistakes, but he didn’t try to correct them. He wasted the opportunities at redemption.
Now he’s been suffering for about 2 years. First, he loses his wife. Then, he has to leave his home in Mexico and come to Dallas, which he never really liked. Finally, all the medial issues. It’s been a horrible 2 years. I’m almost feeling sorry for him.
I think I do feel sorry for him. I’m not sure yet.
Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in. -Alan Alda, actor and director (b. 1936)
So my grandpops will probably die soon.
I hear he has stopped eating and drinking things, except for water. My sister says he also has difficulty breathing. Like, he’ll breathe normally, then stop for a bit, and continue to breathe.
My grandpa lived in our garage for about two years. He went to my uncle’s house about two months ago. Since then it’s definitely been out of sight, out of mind.
I came to terms with his impending death a long time ago. It helped that I didn’t like the guy. I’m not really going to feel his death. I hear they are going to ship his body back to Mexico for the funeral. I’m not looking forward to that trip. I don’t feel like I have to go for him. I think I have to go for my parents.
Boo. That’s not how I wanted to spend my PTO or my holidays.
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. -John F. Kennedy, 35th US president (1917-1963)