Fee Raped


I’m doing an internship this summer and the internship program doesn’t want to offer direct deposit because they don’t want to take risks with our bank information. Weak. So they gave us ATM/Debit cards. They load the cards and we can use them as debit cards, some times.

These cards suck. Why? Because the company that issues the cards, ADP, is a rapist. Not literally, but figuratively. It uses fees to rape you. Seriously rape.

There is only one way to avoid all fees. You get one free transfer from the card to your personal account. I’ve tried to transfer. I’ve put in a transfer request only to wait 3 days without access to my money, to find out that the transfer did not go through. I have tried to transfer 3 different times and the transfers WON’T GO THROUGH!!

You only get one FREE transfer. EVERYTHING ELSE HAS A FEE. If you’re lucky enough to find somewhere to use the card as a debit card, the FEE is 25 cents for each transaction.

If you need money and use an ATM, the FEE is $1.50 from ADP and whatever the bank ATM fee is (Bank of America – $2.50). Unfortunately ADP will only let you withdraw $200 at a time. So to get all of your pay you’re going to need to withdraw 2 or 3 times. That’s $8 to $12 in FEES!

Today I got extra fee raped.

I looked up an ATM in the ADP network that would allow transactions with no fees. It was a Chase ATM. It didn’t charge me fees. ADP FUCKING CHARGED ME FEES. They charged me $1.50 for EVERY TRANSACTION.

So, I put the card in the ATM. I withdraw the highest amount it’ll let me, $200.  Of course I want to withdraw another $200 because God knows when I’ll find another ‘fee free’ ATM.

The ATM won’t let me withdraw the other $200. I ask for the balance, maybe I’m missing money somehow? No, I still have more than $200 in the card. I try to withdraw again. Rejected. I check the balance. There are still funds. I try to withdraw again. Nothing. I start yelling at the ATM. Nothing.

I check the balance again. What do I see?


Why the fuck do they call this particular ATM a no fee transaction ATM? To RAPE ME! That’s why.

If anyone ever asks you how you’ll accept to be paid, you say cash, check, direct deposit, credit card, gift cards, gold trinkets, sea shells, and even fucking Trident layers gum.

If they ask you why you didn’t say an ADP card,

You say FUCK YOU and spit on the card.


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