I’ve been spoiled.
I’ve spent so much time going to school and not caring about . . . other people. Now I’m in the working world and I find myself needing to care. I need to care because now I need to do well at work, build personal and professional relationships, get raises and promotions, and be in a good position to have a happy life.
It’s tiring. It’s tiring telling myself to try and care. It’s difficult to have to make conversations, when I’d much rather have quiet time. It’s difficult to share, because I don’t generally like to, but it’s necessary to make relationships.
It’s also tiring to . . . play the game. The game of work life. Several times I’ve caught my myself really considering more than peoples’ actions, but their motives. I’ve caught myself taking notes of preferences, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. I don’t want to spend my life that way.
I think I’m ok as long as I know I’m doing it and can stop myself. I wonder if it’ll ever consume me.
Yes, I remembered to email myself the topics.
Yes, this was one of the topics.