Memory vs Life

Today was the first day I wanted to run for office again.

That got me thinking. Usually, when you go through an important experience in life, you remember what happened, you learn a lesson, and try to avoid reaching the same outcome. The the first two parts are self explanatory for my example. The last thing is the kicker. To avoid reaching the same outcome I usually avoid the situation all together.

It’s like when I get sick from eating too much popcorn at the movies. The next like 3 times I go to the movies after I get sick I avoid the popcorn. I don’t buy any. Around the 3rd time, I’m actually craving it. The 4th time I think, I can probably have some popcorn. This time I’ll just eat less and not get sick. Each subsequent time I’ll eat a little more until I get sick and repeat the cycle.

If this is the case in most other aspects of my life, then I can expect other things to follow a similar cycle, which would mean that today was probably the first step in running again.

But is it a good thing? Memories are supposed to help protect me from making the same mistakes. Am I doomed to forget? Is it actually a blessing? Maybe forgetting gives me the courage to try again.

Fuck it, I don’t know.

What I do know is that life is both long and short. Life is short. You don’t have enough time to live life in fear. Life is long. The mistakes you make now will haunt you for the rest of your life. Square that.

There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws, would not deserve hanging ten times in his life. -Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)


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