We’ve been talking about the merger often at work.
I think we all feel it’s imminent. Maybe it’s just more comforting to talk it out. I don’t know. I feel better about it, but it’s around 70% dread/panic and 30% hope/optimism. I still think I won’t like and I’ll probably quit and take this as a time to move away.
This is what bothers me the most is though.
I was finally happy.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been thinking about the future. It’s always been, oh man I have to get into Townview, oh man, I have to get into a good college, oh man, I have to get an internship so I can get a job. Oh man, I have to get enough hours to sit for the CPA exam, oh man I need to get into graduate school, and finally, oh man, I have to find a job. Life was always about having a general idea of where I wanted to go, but being unsure how to get there.
Then I was lucky enough to get a job at Rothstein Kass. I had a general idea of what I was getting into, but I wasn’t sure if I would like it. Little did I know that I would love it. I’m pretty good at it. I’m learning so much, and just as importantly, it’s a good work-life balance. The thing is that I finally had a solid idea about what the future at Rothstein Kass looks like, or rather, what it looked like. More importantly, the people in that future were good people. I was looking forward to growing with them.
So, that future is in jeopardy and it’s being replaced with a giant question mark. Will I like the new future? I don’t know.
But why can’t I be happy for once?