I’ve wanted to write for the last 3 days but every night I thought something would happen the next day that would change my mind. Then I’d feel obligated to immediately write to correct myself.
At the old company, RK, I liked what we were doing. I liked what I was doing and I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay until I at least made manager. I knew how long that would take. It was a 5 year task. Then, if things were going well I could stay another 5 years and probably make partner.
At KPMG, it’s also 5 years to manager. I came over with 2 years under my belt. I need 3 more years until manager. The problem is, so far, I don’t like the firm. Don’t get me wrong. I like what I do. I like the auditing. And, I like my group of co-workers, but from what I’ve heard from the current managers, it sounds like it’s worse at the top.
Thursday, my manager asked me if I liked working at KPMG. I said it was alright. He asked if I was staying. I said I didn’t know. If I don’t do this, what else do I do? We ran through a couple of silly ideas, like opening a restaurant or running for judge. There’s nothing else that I’m really passionate about. But then because I was getting a little bored at work, I started thinking about what I liked.
One thing came to mind. The only other time I remember liking what I was doing, was when I was writing my big history paper. I always wanted to get a doctorate in history. Maybe it’s time I bail on this auditing stuff and pursue that. That way I can be a doctorate by my early 30s.
Friday, we had lunch with the partner and he basically told us to wait until busy season is over to make any decision, which was my mentality. The only difference is now I’m actually considering going back to school, or at least looking for a new job.
oh, then after work on Friday, the other managers and I went out for drinks. They said they were really unsure if they were coming back even if we all stayed. Like I said above, I like the work I’m doing and the people with who I work, but if most of the people leave then I’m down to just liking the work and I can like that anywhere.
If this KPMG thing is not making me happy, then why should I stay? But then the situation becomes, do I looking for another auditing/accounting job, or do I start over and go back to school. Then I’ll have to look at my life and think were the last three/four years worth it? I worked for three of them, got a Masters in Accounting, which I apparently won’t be using anymore. I suppose I could have just gone to a graduate program and I would be a doctorate right now.
Blah, either way, it doesn’t hurt to have options.
I’ll start looking into other jobs and how the hell to get into grad school. oh and I’ll have to figure out what grad school is.