Evaluation Stress

Adding to my current continuing insecurities are my upcoming evaluations at work.

I’m sure I have been nervous for evaluation or grades before, but I can’t seem to really remember when. There were two jobs I finished in June from which I needed evaluations. I had a hard time asking for them last week because I didn’t want to hear what they would say.

I was going to say that work these last three years has been easy, but they haven’t. There have been some tough times. The thing is the people I was working with always seemed to like me, or at least appreciate my work. So evaluations weren’t too stressful.

I saw how others behaved during evaluations. How stressed and worried they were. I should have been more appreciative of my position. I didn’t know what my evaluations would be, but I knew they would be good.

Since I transferred to this job, I have been playing catch up. I have been catching up for a while. I passed my year anniversary with the Company a few weeks ago. I think that means I should be done catching up and my “I just got here” excuse is running out.

That was the thing about the first evaluations with this Company. I got a pass because of the “I just got here” excuse. Now things are expected.

To be fair. I knew what these two evaluations would say. The boss ladies and I had brief conversations before the engagements ended and there some quick comments and suggestions about my performance that I took to heart because they were the truth.

I got the evaluations late last week. They said exactly what I expected. We’re also given letter grades along with the evaluators comments on the two aspects of our performance. “D” is for developing. It’s basically a pass because you’re new at the job. I was expected four Ds (both aspects on both evaluation), but I actually got a “P” for proficient for one of the aspects. It was three Ds and one P. So I guess that’s technically better than I expected.

Does that make me any less nervous going forward? No. Why? Because for the next grading period I was doing internal control work, which I something I have very very little experience doing. What would I prophecy my evaluation to be for that period? Ds.


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