Lost Motivation

The days go by really fast when you’re avoiding things.

There hasn’t been much to do at work recently. I was in the wonderful position of not having to do anything. I was open for work, but nothing came.

I suppose I could have done something great those days, but I didn’t. It wasn’t because I wasn’t done anything. On the contrary, I was doing lot of little things.

You’d be surprised how a little thing can take up your whole morning. Not because you actually spend a lot of time on it, but because there’s a lot of subconscious prep work you do before and after it.

You have to go get coffee. Then some water. Then go to the restroom. Answer the one email that came through while you were at the restroom. Check the binder. Get some more water. Get some more coffee. Do some research on lunch places. Pick a lunch place. Get some steps in. Check your mail again. Do the small task. Go to lunch.

The afternoon is pretty similar. The afternoon is special though, because around 4pm you just want to leave.

The problem with all this seemingly free time is that since it’s so far removed from actual deadlines and work, it’s very unmotivating to try and do something productive.

The future benefit is just too low.

Also, I do my best work with clearly defined goals in a team setting. I had neither of those this week.

I shouldn’t be surprised that I couldn’t concentrate.

I’m only human.

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