Tag Archives: buddy or friend?

Making Progress

The strangest thing happened to me this week.

There was that one coworker that I was having serious trouble understanding. He was the one with whom I thought I had nothing in common. Almost every conversation or interaction with him was awkward or forced. I had trouble trusting him because I couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. At least that’s where I thought I was with him.

The strange thing that happened was that he asked me if I wanted to get a drink that evening, after dinner. It was the day the other LA staff had to leave to Dallas to go back to LA. It was so weird because, like I said, we had already gotten dinner as a team. We had gone back to the hotel. It was like 9pm and he had only texted me. Oh, and were staying at different hotels. So he had to drive to get to this bar for the drink. And, I guess the weirdest part was that I thought he felt the same way about me. Maybe not all that distrusting stuff, but at least the not having anything in common part.

Anyway, I was jogging when I got that text. I said yea, let’s do it, I’m jogging so when I shower I’m good to go. He said alright and I met him at the bar for the drink.

It was weird, because it wasn’t that weird.

I don’t remember the first thing we talked about, but we hit some pretty easy topics. We talked about our favorite movies and! why we liked them. We talked about work, but not that usual way where it’s just complaining other people he’s worked with, or when he’s name dropping important people he knows. It was us talking about what we like and don’t like. We were both opening up. It felt real.

That’s how we left it. The next day he flew back to LA and I stayed until Sunday to spend some time with my family.

I thought this might happen. I know we didn’t have anything in common, but I figured that our experience at this client, would eventually be the start of our things in common. I just thought it would take like a year.

I’m really curious how things will be in January.

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Bye Buddy

I met with my buddy one last time before he left to Seattle.

He told me all about his crazy last two weeks. He told me how an old friend had called him up and asked him if he wanted this job back up in Seattle. He met with his friend, thought about it for a day or two, and then said yes.

His girlfriend’s VISA had expired and she went back to Spain. Around the time he got the job offer, he took some time off and went back to Spain to see her. He proposed to her there. They’re getting married soon so she can come back to the US with him.

It all happened so quickly. Now he quit his job and is moving back to Seattle.

Haha, it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

Two things on this.

First, his departure hit me a bit hard because he was a good guy. We got along great and I regret not hanging out with him more. We could have been real good friends. It feels like a huge missed opportunity. I need to make sure that doesn’t happen with other people.

Second, the topic of his buddy came up and it was a manager that I know. She’s pretty cool. He encouraged me to see if she could be my informal buddy. And, that’s what I did the next day. She’s a friendly person, so she seemed to like the idea, but it’s had to tell over the instant messenger.

I hope he’s doing well, and on the plus side, it looks like I have a friend in Seattle now.

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Bye Bye Buddy

When I started at this new firm I was assigned a buddy.

My buddy was meant to help me with questions I had about the company or my job.  But my buddy was more than that. He was about my age and he had also moved to LA about a year before. So the company picked him as my buddy because he had been in a similar situation.

We hung out at most of the company happy hours and events. We also hung out once outside of work.

Last week my buddy told me that he was leaving the company to move back to his home city and starting another career.

But it must be a bit more than that. Since I meet him, he found a girlfriend, and now they’re engaged.

It feels like he’s moving on to the next stage of life. He’s getting married. Probably having kids soon after. He’s in a more stable job. He’ll probably buy a house after he gets married. He’s starting that stage now.

We’re supposed to hang out one last time next week (it will probably be the last, right?). I’m afraid to ask him if he’s moving into that part of life. Because, while I’m happy for him, where does that leave me?

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Calling to Remember

I think I’m starting to look forward to phone calls.

One of my oldest friends called me on Wednesday. They called to make sure I could attend their wedding in November. I said yes and it was all gravy, but then we started talking about work, stuff we had done, and life. I know it started with wedding talk, but I think it was just a call to catch up.

Like I said, it was nice. I moved out in August and I don’t think we’d talked since then. Dang, that’s almost 9 months. If I stay out here in LA, then I might only see this guy once a year and talk to him twice a year. That means I’ll see him maybe like 40 more times and we’ll talk less than 100 times before I die. At that point, would he really have been my friend?

The best part of the call was at the end when he told me to feel free to call him. Because, he’s right. I could have made an effort and called. We are friends, aren’t we?

There’s two ways I can go from here and I think I’ll go both ways.

First. I remember a while back writing something along the lines of friendships are built on shared experiences. Once you can’t share those experiences you start growing apart and the friendship could vanish. Now I’m wondering if call backs to those experiences, or simply sharing those experiences, will be sufficient to keep that friendship.

I look at people who try long-distance relationships and fail (is that because they have trouble communicating? I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that enough), which I think happens more often than long-term relationships succeeding. I wonder if friendships fall into the same category, or maybe they’re just different enough to survive long distances because the participants aren’t each others main focus in life.

Second. I don’t think I have a lot of friends, but the friends I do have I would consider most of them very close. I think I have a high close friend ratio. The move hasn’t felt like such a strain on my friendships because, although my friends were close, we didn’t really hang out all that much. With the exception of two friends, I would see the others maybe 3 times a year.

If I go back to Dallas in the summer and Christmas season and see them then, I’m still seeing them about the same number of times as I was before I moved. But maybe that doesn’t mean we were really that close at all?

I don’t know. A lot of this stuff is up in the air.

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Calls from the

. . . Past

Last week I received a call from a city council man in Seagoville. He called himself a city council person, which I thought was pretty funny. He said the call was concerning the DISD Board of Trustees, which was something I hadn’t thought about in a while. I was a bit busy so it took me a day or two to call him back.

When I called him back he asked me if I was considering a run for the seat again. I had to tell him I didn’t live in Dallas anymore.

Honestly, right after I lost the election, I thought about how I would run again. A few months later, I decided not to run again. Maybe I would have thought differently closer to the election date, but I didn’t want to seriously run.

What I did want to do was get my name on the ballot again, but not run a campaign.

After I lost the election, I was pretty disappointed that I lost. But more than that, I was disappointed that I didn’t have any sort of impact on the community. At least there wasn’t one I could see in the voter turnout figures. Total turnout in the district was just as low as it was in the last election. Turnout in the precincts where I did the most campaigning was just as low as well. Yea, I didn’t see any impact and that was the worst part.

I figured if the incumbent ran again, then I could run a little bit of an experiment. I would put my name on the ballot and not campaign, at all. I would let the election results roll in and see if turnout was any better or worse. Then I could really judge the impact of my first campaign.

The city councilman asked if I knew anybody who would be a good candidate. I said no not really. He said we should meet the next time I was in town. He seemed nice enough, so I think I will give him a call some other day.

. . . Future

Monday, I received a call from a manager on one of my future engagements. It was about doing an inventory observation for that client.

That was the “problem”. The client sells fancy clothes at swanky resorts, which means the inventory is also at swanky resorts. Apparently a majority of client’s inventory is at two resort locations in Mexico.

Usually we get an accounting firm in Mexico to do the observations in Mexico, but the client had a bad experience with the last Mexican accounting firm. So now we need to go count their inventory at the end of the month.

The manager asked if I had inventory experience, which I do, and if I knew Spanish, which I do. Once we got all that stuff out of the way, we needed to clear it with the manager’s on my other engagements and our staffing people. We cleared most of those hurdles today. I think I’m good to book the flight. I’m talking to the manager tomorrow, so I’ll clear it with him then.

I want to say that I hope I go. I know I’ll find it tough to relax, since I’ll be in the middle of busy season, but I’ll try. Either way, if it blows up at this point, at least it’s a good story. I almost got to swanky Mexico to count fancy clothes, or I got to go to swanky Mexico to count fancy clothes.

. . . Present?

Alright, they weren’t really phone calls. They were texts, but I think my point still applies. The texts are the more interesting part. I ended up finally texting two people who I had been meaning to contact.

First, I texted my designated buddy to hang out. He is my firm designated buddy. There aren’t many great ways to make friends. Work is probably the best place to make a friend. We’re friendly enough, so at some point we’ll need to hang out outside of work to become real friends, right?

Well, he’s from Seattle, so he’s a Seahawks fan. We were going to watch early Seahawks game, but things got complicated. His friend was in town, so they were going to come too, but then they were going to leave and he had to take them to the airport, but then they had tickets to the Clippers game, and it got messy. I bailed and we rescheduled for the Seahawks game next weekend. Although, the Seahawks almost ruined our plans by almost losing the game.

Second, I texted my cousin. He lives here in Southern California. I went to his wedding this past summer. I had been meaning to contact him since I moved out here, but I hadn’t. Life got in the way. I figured I could always make the busy excuse. There would probably never be an idle time to reach out, so I went ahead and did it.

We’re going to get some pizza on Saturday. It should be pretty great. Either way, I’ll have some pizza, so it won’t be an entire loss.

I used to really hate talking on the phone and texting people. Now, it’s not so bad. You get a nice spread of good, bad, and weird things. Ha, kinda like life.

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Friend Buddy

A guy at work usually gives me a ride home. He hasn’t the last….3 or 4 work days. I used to be in the division with the guy who gives me a ride, but last week I was moved to another division in the building. When he drops me off at the house he says, ”see you tomorrow friend.” Today, every time he called me he used the word ‘buddy’.

Buddy < Friend ?

I’m not sure. I’ll have to keep an eye out and I’ll get back to you.

Quote of the Day – Getting a Pencil at Work

Me: Hey I need a mechanical pencil.

Co-worker: Ok lets go get one.

Opens cabinet, take out pencils

Co-worker: We have .5 and .7 and .9 pencils.

Me: What? They make .9 pencils? I want that one.

Co-worker: Ok, let me make sure it has lead.

Takes out two pencils, and pulls one hard and disassembles pencil

Me: I want the other one.

Puts pencil back together

Co-worker: It’s not broken.

Me: I know. I was just kidding.

Co-worker: (rolls eyes) oh. You have the dry sense of humor.

starts laughing

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